After waiting all week for the temperature to drop, even a little bit, I got up early today to do the yardwork that I’ve been putting off all week. I ran into a few stumbling blocks immediately: My sister threw out the chair that I stand on to cut the forsythias, and she also moved the hand clippers that I needed to trim the rhododendrom. It took me half an hour to find the clippers, but they eventually turned up at the bottom of a box of miscellaneous hardware.
After marvelling at how much the rhododendron had grown, I got to work. I hate trimming that tree in particular because the new growth is so sticky. I noticed a few honeybees circling around, but I didn’t worry about it too much. I saw a few hornets fly by, but I just walked away when I heard them buzzing nearby. Then I looked up and saw a nest a few inches away from my face. “Fuck!,” I yelled, dropping the clippers and running backward simultaneously.
After taking a few minutes to calm down, I started looking for the nest again. I couldn’t find it. After searching for twenty minutes and not seeing a single insect fly by, I convinced myself that I must have just seen some dead leaves on the inside of the tree and panicked. A few deep breaths later, I was back to work, flinching everytime a bug flew by. Then, reaching for the next branch to trim, I came within seconds of grabbing the nest that I had convinced myself didn’t exist.
I’m trying to keep this in perspective: It’s a small nest, only three inches long, and I’ve only seen two or three hornets. But still, those fuckers scare me. I’ve been stung before.
So, I take a break and head out back to survey the forsythias. I fucking hate forsythias. Neverthless, they have to be trimmed, as they are encroaching on the neighbors’ territory. While I’m trying to figure out how long it will take to trim them into submission, I see wasps and yellowjackets circling one of the bushes. Shit. It’s no secret that each year there are usually wasps in the shed next to the forsythias, but the yellowjackets seem to be flying in and out of the center of the bush. I can’t see the nest, but it’s probably in there. I’ve been stung by wasps and yellowjackets, too, and I didn’t like that either.
So, as it stands, there are two shrubs that I’m afraid to go near, it’s humid as fuck, and the temperature doesn’t seem to have dropped that much. I can’t spray any of the insects until nightfall, which means I’ll have to cut the other three bushes (2 juniper, 1 forsythia, in case you’re keeping track) and finish the job tomorrow, which will probably be even hotter and more humid. In the meantime, I’ll probably continue to jump everytime I hear buzzing, which is exactly what you want to do while standing on a ladder, holding an electric hedge trimmer.
I’m trying not to be crany about this, but I’m not succeeding: I’ve been in the basement all week; I hauled 56 more bags of trash out last night, and now I’ve got stinging insects flying around to beat the band. I’m seriously tempted to ask my sister to hire someone to do the yardwork. I hate to whine about the weather, but I’m running out of energy.
|| Topcs: General
